Candor Creek

Minus one. You will have to excuse some of the choppiness of this post. I wanted to reserve my blog for more polished writings but, as you will see, my life is a bit fragmented right now. I could say something poetic about the style mimicing my fractured life, but I pride myself in being honest: I just haven't the gumption to make this a proper piece due largely to mental illness. Storm, my 13-year-old bearded collie, companion, teammate, and roommate, passed on Thursday, January 11, 2018 sometime in the 4PM hour. His poor little body just couldn't take all of those chronic health issues anymore. He let me know that he was ready on Monday the 8th after I had hung up with the vet. He went as comfortably as he could, laying on the comforter he fell asleep on as I drove him home for the first time, with his shaggy head in my hands as I layed in front of him. The last command I gave him was "down". Storm was my world and, despite nearly three weeks in an empty ap...

Dinner. Japanese-influenced new comfort food I've been developing. Chicken broth, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, lemon juice (running trial now, so far so good), rice noodles, fresh chopped ginger, fresh chopped green onion, white pepper. Most important ingredient: lithium, twice daily. This post is for my fellow mentally ill folk, and especially for my younger friends so they can avoid some of the stupid games I've played with myself over the years and maybe get their health sorted before they're in their thirties and disabled: I am in a depressive state and, during the last few days, I'm at the point where it magnifies my PMDD. When I was like this in the past I used to be wholly unable to get out of bed save taking care of my dog. Suicidal. Locked in a dark apartment. No contact, no media. Limbs so heavy. Depression and hatred and anger so intense it would paralyze me. Now, however, I'm on a decent lithium dose. I'm currently having troubl...