The Emotional Weight of Epinepherine

My writing partner, from above, in a favorite position. I'm getting better at one-handed writing.

Health post, but a more positive tone for those that can't handle my usual depressive bullshit. Summer cuteness for your troubles.

Ah, yes, the "halfway to anaphylaxis" epipen. Rare, and opting out of it is usually a poor choice that has led to ER runs and large flares in the past. Doesn't stop me from wrestling with taking it every time, though. I was smart (?) just now and gave in to the likely inevitability of at least one Epipen in the next day or so. The reasons finally stacked up high enough: mold spike two days ago, corresponding reactivity/pre-anaphylaxis all day yesterday despite it being a steroid day and staying home (extra trips up and down the steps though), and I've now progressed to pre-anaphylaxis after eating anything or getting up off the couch to do something after a sleep cycle. Further complication: I won't have the steroid as a buffer for 24 hours today. Dishes tonight? Problem. Laundry? Problem. Summer's short walk was the spark for the pre-anaphylaxis that brought about the pen.

...and, while these voices faded a bit over the last year, I'm still left wondering whether I just abused the medication.

I'd normally be a much bigger emotional mess about all of this but a) I know a lot more about this reactive phase after three years of data and two of progress, so I actually have some control over it; b) noted improvement in symptoms based on recent treatment changes (that doesn't happen often, guys); c) lots of support from lots of places; and d) continued psych symptom "narrowing" on the depakote.

That doesn't mean I won't be mourning it again tomorrow or the next day, though. I'm starting to learn that that's OK which, in turn, makes me a bit less angry about things.